Why doesn’t God have a cellphone?

That’s a question that stumped my friend Lisa the other day.

“I’m 73,” she told me. “I was talking to my 5-year-old granddaughter about Heaven because I didn’t want her to be sad when I’m gone. I told her I’d be watching over her from Heaven.

“She said, ‘Well, Grandma, can I call you?’”

It took Lisa a few seconds. “No, you won’t be able to call me.”

Granddaughter Gianna shot back, “You mean to tell me that God doesn’t have a cellphone?”

Gianna wasn’t done: “Grandma, when God comes to take me to Heaven, can I get a bath first?”

“I told her I’d ask God to give her a half hour to take a bath,” Lisa said.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 18:3-4, NKJV)

So let’s get great and celebrate spring with childlike hearts and the wonder and wisdom of little kids:

• Here’s a sampling of other questions kids asked about God:

“Did Jesus get potty trained as fast as me?”

“How did Jesus even rise from the grave? Did he punch out of his grave and say, ‘This isn’t the last of Jesus!’?”

“I teach preschool Sunday school and ... I talked about Jesus as the Good Shepherd and how He will leave 99 sheep to find one lost one. One little boy piped up, ‘Did Jesus live in a zoo?’”

• Another story:

“When my oldest was about 3, we found a baby bird in the yard that had fallen from its nest. When I went to check on it the next morning, it had died. When I took the kids out to play, I discreetly scooped him up, put him in a bag and in the trash.

“When we came in, my son said, ‘Mama, what happened to that baby bird?’ Trying to skirt the issue, I said, ‘Oh, you don’t have to worry about that baby bird, he lives with Jesus now.’

“He looked at me thoughtfully for a few moments and said, ‘Jesus lives in the trash?’” (anonymous)

• Pastor Mike told this a couple Sundays ago: A kindergarten teacher gave her class a show-and-tell assignment to bring an object to share that represented their religion.

Benjamin got up and said, “I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.” Next, Mary faced the class and said, “I’m a Catholic and this is a rosary.”

On it went until it was Tommy’s turn. “I’m Southern Baptist,” he said, “and this is a chicken casserole.”

• Here’s a sampling of questions kids wrote in letters to God:

“Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?” — Norma

“Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now?” — Jane

“I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.” — Nan

“I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!” — Eugene.

Enjoy your spring through the eyes of a child.


SEND YOUR KID QUOTES to Cole at burtseyeview@tribtoday.com, on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook or @BurtonWCole on Twitter.

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