A Falcon flew over the northeastern crest,
Said “Of these scrods I can be the best,
’Twas true last year and will be again,
Once the final scores have all come in.”
He stuffed LaBra, made Worriers sob,
On Beavers simply did the job.
But fell in the soup, a Campbell plot
Of Liberty didn’t see a lot.
Ghimmy Hen Sun said “We must take stock,
Or our bold words will just be a crock.”
Renewed by chewing on Fig Newtons’ taste
The Falcon a Lakeview Bullfrog laid waste.
Champion’s boast was just a threat,
Its spark the County Seateds wet
And Giraffe could only crane his neck
Its spinal column became a wreck.
Now Connie Aught’s the final test
Unless the bird can adorn its nest
With playoff banners red and black.
Can mere Spurtin’s hold it back?
Oh, there were other valiant crews.
Gland Valley’s Mustangs rarely snoozed.
Dom’s Worriers often teams abused.
Mad-as-a-sons Shrieks and Beavers, too
Proved Leggs County could win a few.
But elsewhere, wins were rarely seen.
The Twin Towers were painted green.
Grapeburg escaped the PAC-Man cellar,
Lakesize became the basement dweller,
And Connie found victory a futile task,
It didn’t seem too much to ask.
Egad, Billy Shakespeare has nothing on me, don’t you think?
CONNEAUT at JEFFERSON — Ghimmy Hen Sun and the County Seat Flakin’s would normally welcome Connie Aught with open arms. But with the winless Spurtin’s bringing few prayoff computer points with them, the Flakin’s would be better served playing someone else. Make that anyone else. As for Connie, a win over Chefferson would make a seizin’ — and a seizure for Flakin’ fans. Sleep well, County Seat citizens. FLAKIN’S 33, CONNIE 0.
LEDGEMONT at GRAND VALLEY — One of these two scrods will win a NIC-NAC championship. Ledgemantel’s Redfaces are the defending champions. John Clavicle and the Gland Valley Moose-tongues would rate a title higher than winning the Chili Cookoff, if only slightly. Joe LaRooster and the Redfaces wouldn’t mind crowing about his year, either. But... GLAND VALLEY 23, LEDGEMANTEL 22.
CLEVELAND JFK at EDGEWOOD — I guess if you’re going to play a club team, as Dom I’macoachinya and the Edge of Night Worriers did this year, the next step is an airport. I’ve had some nasty experiences in airports and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Worriers aren’t feeling the same way late Friday night. JFK 28, EDGE OF NIGHT 13.
CHARDON at LAKESIDE — The entire seizin’ has been a humbling experience for Ryan (We met Goliath, and we are his) David and the Lakesize Draggin’s. Mitch Whodat? and the Charredtown are another in a string of PAC-Man bullies (see South, Mad-as-a-son and Riverslide) destined to enslave Lakesize for the foreseeable future. BOPPERS 40, DRAGGIN’S 12.
LUTHERAN EAST at PYMATUNING VALLEY — Just when Neil Criss-cross Buns and the Pie Valley Lackeys need a lift, along come the Looters East, who normally might only provide a lift of the wallet. Plus, a harvest moon should be on the way, a good omen for those wishing to bring in the crops. Or are they already in? Perhaps four members of the PeeVee bored of education know. They know it all, after all (barf). LACKEYS 26, LACKING 7.
MADISON at RIVERSIDE — Tim (Whatchatalkinbout) Willis and the Mad-as-a-son Boo Shrieks figure to be wearing masks this weekend. It is Halloween, after all. They just don’t want to be wearing those paper bag masks of shame that would seem appropriate if Dave Boresya (and his beard) and the Riverslide Beavers beat them. I think they’re safe. BOO SHRIEKS 28, BEAVERS 21.
CHAGRIN FALLS at PERRY — Matt Rosecoloredglasses and the Peary Pyrites have had plenty of reasons to be chagrinned at this season already, though the future is very, very bright. Chargin’ Falls will give them yet another. CHAGRIN FALLS 33, TWIN TOWERS 14.
GENEVA at UNIVERSITY SCHOOL — Tony the Tiger Hassle and the Shekneeva Equals can enjoy the fall foliage on Route 90 on the way to Gates Mills Saturday. U.S. is not the dominating force it was in the past, and that has nothing to do with China. I’m picking this as my Upset of the Week. Didn’t know I had such a thing, did you? Well, there’s always a first time. GRAPELAND 29, U.S. 28.
Major Hooole has given up on finding a home this fall. In the great tradition of the homeless, brother, can you spare him a dime? Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
A Falcon flew over the northeastern crest,
High school coaches of any sport, but especially football coaches, will talk about hard work and dedication to the point their players can finish the speeches without hearing the voices behind them.
TD Club Notebook: Special recognition
For five senior student-athletes who made the All-Ashtabula County football team, Monday night was extra special, as each was named a recipient of an annual scholarship award.
PV 62, Badger 33
at Pymatuning Valley
TUESDAY, DEC. 10
Conneaut at Cardinal (6)
Edgewood at Jefferson (5:30, WFUN)
Geneva at University (6)
Geauga Grizzlies at GRA (6)
GV at Newbury (6)
Riverside at Lakeside (6)
North at Madison (6)
Perry at Lakeview (6)
Andrews at St. John (6)
Perry at Harvey (6)
Andrews at St. John (5)
The second year of Spire Academy is off to a big start with new sports and more students, according to academy officials.
Adaptive clinic set for Saturday
Wheelchair athletes seeking to hone their skills are in luck as an adaptive basketball clinic will be held Saturday at Spire Institute, according to information released by Spire Institute.
Johnson ready for next chapter
After four years as a member of the Youngstown State volleyball team, Nichele Johnson is closing the book on a chapter in her life as her career as both a player and student is winding to an end.
MONDAY. DEC. 9
Ashtabula County Touchdown Club Banquet (at Our Lady of Peace — formerly, Mount Carmel)
Mathews at GV (6)
Badger at PV (6)
Outdoors Insider, with Dale Sunderlin: Deer-gun season opens with a bang
Hunters checked 22,620 white-tailed deer on Monday, Dec. 2, the opening day of Ohio’s deer-gun hunting season, according to the Ohio Department of Natural Resources’ (ODNR) Division of Wildlife.
Eagles run past Rebels
The Geneva girls put together the one big run in Saturday afternoon’s 59-42 win over South. Then every time the Rebels made a move, the Eagles answered.
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